Unlucky 13

To say the least, this past month has been the hardest month in quite sometime. Jeremy and I have gone through a lot of disappointments but the failed adoption takes the cake. To be so close to our dream to have a family and have it slip away, well… there is really no way to describe it. I am certain 13 is the unluckiest of numbers for us and am looking forward to ringing in 2014. I can't say for certain that 2014 is our year however I know we will try to remain positive and hope that our time will come. Since we have begun trying for a family, we have unintentionally paid attention to the families that surround us in detail. Every day I am bothered by someone taking their family for granted and not cherishing the shear understanding that not everyone is given the gift of life. In addition, I can't describe the loathe I feel internally when someone tells us "we will understand when we have children" or "enjoy your sleep now". Are people not sensitive enough to realize we may never have children? Do they not realize that we are not sleeping now? Do they not realize that once a beautiful child enters our world there will never be a moment when I take that time for granted? There is a famous quote, "You never know what you have until it's gone," I believe that is true. However I also believe that "There is no purer love than a mother to a child and a piece of my heart will always be missing without a chance to feel that." Here is to hoping 2014 is our year!