Unlucky 13

To say the least, this past month has been the hardest month in quite sometime. Jeremy and I have gone through a lot of disappointments but the failed adoption takes the cake. To be so close to our dream to have a family and have it slip away, well… there is really no way to describe it. I am certain 13 is the unluckiest of numbers for us and am looking forward to ringing in 2014. I can't say for certain that 2014 is our year however I know we will try to remain positive and hope that our time will come. Since we have begun trying for a family, we have unintentionally paid attention to the families that surround us in detail. Every day I am bothered by someone taking their family for granted and not cherishing the shear understanding that not everyone is given the gift of life. In addition, I can't describe the loathe I feel internally when someone tells us "we will understand when we have children" or "enjoy your sleep now". Are people not sensitive enough to realize we may never have children? Do they not realize that we are not sleeping now? Do they not realize that once a beautiful child enters our world there will never be a moment when I take that time for granted? There is a famous quote, "You never know what you have until it's gone," I believe that is true. However I also believe that "There is no purer love than a mother to a child and a piece of my heart will always be missing without a chance to feel that." Here is to hoping 2014 is our year!

So Beautiful during this time in our life!

Say Something

You win some, you lose some.

Well, if you haven't heard the adoption fell through. There is no little man in our life as of yet. These have been the hardest days yet because we have built a relationship with the birthmom and put a name and personality to the little man. The birthmom chose to parent. All we can hope is that they made the right choice for you. We know first hand how hard those bills are for her to pay and how neither of them work. If choosing to parent was the right choice for them, we can only hope it was the right choice for the little man! So here we are, brokenhearted and empty handed. Not sure when we will recover from this loss but we are working hard to remain positive. We have our highs and lows but more than anything we have eachother which is the only way to get through this. Today is the first day for us in making life changes and moving forward. Our lives will no longer be careless and every day forward will be to better ourselves for our family. We know we will have a family someday, we just do not know how or when. We will keep praying that we are blessed with the family we know we deserve. Thank you for all of your support. Sorry if we are not better at communicating right now, we are still hurting. Please know we love you all.

Things I hope to hear from our children some day.

Just another day in adoption land...

How is it that in a world where respect and support are needed more than anywhere, none is given? I cannot express to you how challenging this adoption process is by itself but to add in unsupportive agencies and social workers just makes matters worse. We have been working with Angel Adoption & Lutheran Child & Family Services of Illinois from the beginning of this adoption. We have paid money for their client services. Each and every time I reach out to them with questions or inquiries I get legal jargen, defensive responses or un-supportive commentary. I have not had the financial pleasure to know if other agencies treat their clients in a similar respect however getting through each day has become more and more challenging. Our social worker Lori Lynch is by far the most cold sounding women over the phone. She has no respect for our birthmother or us, she basically works as if this job is a burden. A word of advice to any Adoption Social Workers… "Quit your job if its a burden and don't have the strength to support everyone involved. There are too many emotions in this situation on both sides of the fence and all people want is a little encouragement or support. Don't tell me you have done all you can do until you actually have." I work endless hours every week for my job and am available at the drop of a hat. I feel like in addition to my job, I have been working yours too, just to stay knowledgeable in what is taking place. I am here to promise you that once a successful adoption is complete for us (whenever that may be) I will formally complain about all of the ill services we have received. In addition I will begin researching how to start an agency with heart and ensure anyone involved has one.

A sono a day keeps the worry away!

Here is the last photo we received of you!!! Look at how big you have gotten!

Happy Halloween!

Little Britton, today is Halloween and we are only 9 days away from your due date of November 9th. We know you will decide when you want to enter the world and at this point you are healthy and ready. We are staying at The Elders home while they are in Gulf Shores for the week. Of all the traveling we have done over the past few weeks, this is the most at home we have felt. Jeremy and I have finally established a little bit of a schedule. We are eating home cooked meals and going to the gym regularly again. It feels great knowing we are bettering ourselves for when you enter the world. On Monday we carved pumpkins and made homemade tortilla soup. Tuesday we baked the delicious pumpkin seeds and tonight we are ready for Trick or Treaters! It has been constantly raining so I am not sure if Trick or Treating will be canceled but we are ready nonetheless. We are thinking of you and so anxious for you to enter our world. I have been having a hard time keeping up with this blog and my photos because I dont want to jinx anything. We are so nervous, scared, excited, happy, anxious, terrified, calm and ready. Someday we will get to share this story with you and hopefully you will know how badly we want you in our lives. We are just taking it one day at a time. After some texting with your birthmom, we are hoping to meet in person next week for dinner. We'll take a lot of photos and make sure to share all the details. We are thinking about you little Britton! We are ready! We love you!

Patience is a Virtue

Little Britton we cannot tell you how much we look forward to meeting you however things continue to get challenging for us. We have recently been informed that your due date is now November 9th when we were originally told November 1st. As we continue to count down the days, the count down only seems to grow. Our patience is definitely being put to use which will only better us for when you enter the world. I am continuously trying to bottle up my emotions as Jeremy is taking this pretty hard. I do keep praying that all this anticipation and pain will turn into happiness soon enough. We just learned that you are very healthy potentially weighing about 7.5lbs today and predicted to weigh almost 9lbs at birth. You are such a big healthy boy we can't wait to kiss your little cheeks. Everything we are and do today is for you and I hope we get to share that with you soon enough! We are back to the 17 day countdown and soon enough you will be here with all of us. “The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” ― Paulo Coelho

2 Weeks to Due Date

Britton, We can't believe we have come this far with your birthmommy Brittany but she is going to be bringing you into this world in about two weeks! Every day we get closer we lose a little more sleep as we are anxiously awaiting your arrival. Every keeps telling us that when you arrive we will get less sleep but I dont believe that for a second. I may not get a full nights sleep for the next five years but when I do get the chance to close my eyes it will be a peaceful rest. Right now our sleep is worry and stressful and lacking. We are currently living on the road with our family and friends. We are appreciating all of this time as we will be focusing our time and energy on you when you arrive! Get ready for all of our love!

Britton Growing

Britton- Look at how big you are getting inside Brittany! We can't wait to meet you!

We will do just that!

24 Days & Counting

Baby Britton, We cannot tell you how excited we are to see what happens over the next month! Today the countdown is 24 days til Brittany's due date! You are very healthy with a very healthy heartbeat! We are all packed for over a month of living on the road but the good news is we get these days filled with friends and family visits! It has taken us over three weeks to pack because there is so much we need but I think we figured it out! We look forward to meeting you and can't wait for this journey to begin! Below are our friends Jayme & Justin sharing your baby shower announcement, they can't wait to meet you either! Love You Always, Mom & Dad

The BIG 30

This week you are as big as a squash! You are growing so much every week and it is crazy to think we get to meet you in 67 days give or take a few! We are ready for you to enter this world and join our crazy family! We are more than ready to sleep less, stay home more and hear your new baby cries! We are ready to love you for all that you are and all that you will be! Yesterday we finally got the finishing touches on your room! We so hope you love it as much as we do!

Lucky 27 Weeks

Little Britton, you do not know this yet but 27 is my lucky number! So lucky for me that I just found out if you were born today you would have an excellent chance of making it in this world. That is so exciting to think that you are becoming the beautiful human being I will some day know and I have a better chance now than ever to meet you. There are exactly 12 weeks and 4 days to the countdown of when Brittany is set to deliver you. I truly hope that moment is something special we share with your birth mom and dad and the start of a lifelong relationship with them. Today my blogs compare you to the size of a Pot Roast. I wish that meant something to me but I don't know the size of a pot roast and haven't seen one in many years. I only eat fish and chicken but promise you, you will get to try anything your little heart desires. It makes my heart smile every week to learn you are getting bigger and to see Brittany's belly growing. Our hearts are thumping stronger and stronger each day as we get closer to meeting you. I know Brittany is taking care of you and know that we are thinking of you every day. We love you. Mom & Dad

A day at a time

Well, little Britton since we have a few months still ahead of us we have slowly been working on your nursery. The room is coming together so nicely yet there is still so much work to be done. We are creating an outdoor/nature setting full of colors, shapes and settings. Hopefully when you enter this room, you will be overjoyed with all the things to look at and touch! We look forward to bringing you home!

Behind the Name

Today your mom is 23 weeks pregnant with you. You are the size of a grapefruit and you have started kicking and punching Brittany's belly! After weeks of sharing name ideas with your birthmother and partner, we have collectively named you as of last week. To honor them, we have chosen your name of Britton Joseph Wyatt Young. Britton is a direct take on your mom's name Brittany, Joseph is a name after your father and Wyatt is something we all loved and means brave/strong. We are so excited for you to come into this world with so much love surrounding you and we cannot wait to meet you Britton! I only wonder what name you will take on when you get older, what your friends will nickname you and maybe even what we will nickname you! There are so many choices but for now we will simply call you Britton. Below is a bit about your name: -Your name Britton gives you a strong sense of responsibility in business and material affairs, and the practicality and determination to make a success of anything you undertake. -Your ability to organize and direct the efforts of others enables you to excel in any managerial position because you have the ability to grasp the concept of a goal complete with an understanding of the steps to be taken. -This name has allowed you to develop depth and breadth of mind. -You are able to retain facts, to grasp new information to your existing store of knowledge. -You never seem to be out of your depth of understanding. -For these reasons others who may not have the same quickness of mind classify you as a "know it all" and, although you may be highly respected, this characteristic is unlikely to endear you to your associates. -You have a very responsible nature, are capable and mature, and are willing to assume a position as a pillar of the community. -You are quite healthy, but possible trouble areas are found in the generative organs.

Welcome to the family!

Today we fell in love with you! We may not know what your name will be but today we know that we will love you forever! Thank you for making our lives mean something more. We will love you forever! Mom & Dad

Hello Summer, Hello Arrington!!

Good Friends Good Times!

Hangout Fest 2013

Here are a few photos from a wonderful weekend away with The Lawrence's! We stayed in their lovely condo in Gulf Shores & listened to some great talent at The Hangout Fest! Erin is one of my closest friends but it brings me such great joy saying that Mike & Jeremy have built a great friendship. Maybe even a Bromance after this weekend. Regardless, it means the world to have them here with us in Nashville and we look forward to our moments together ahead!

Is it true!?!

At this point in our journey, we keep our fingers crossed, pray to whom we trust in above, wish on wishbones, pick up all heads up pennies, pull out the rabbits foot, search for the four leaf clovers, hang the horseshoe above your door, let the crickets roam the house and let all ladybugs (red only) land on your shoulder. We have been connected with a beautiful family in Peoria, IL and now we move forward. Remember folks, nothing is final until the legal work is complete and there are still a million things that could go wrong but today and everyday forward I put my faith in the heavens above that good things are ahead for us. Here is to hoping that by November 1, we are a family of three! Words can't describe the joy that is filling my heart or the pain I am trying to mask. We may be a mommy and daddy after all!

Angel Adoption Call

Over lunch today, Jeremy was hanging out in my office talking about our plans for Hangout Fest this weekend. During our conversation we received a call I was certain I wasn't going to answer but picked it up anyway. Amazingly enough this phone call was Angel Adoption telling us a birthmother was interested in us and wanted to begin emailing and then move forward with us! WHAT!?!? How exciting is that news? There is still so much we have to go through and figure out but at this point Jeremy and I could be parents in October!!!! I will continue to pray each day as we move forward that this is seamless and without struggle. Today could be the start of it all! Boy do we have a lot of work to do! Yippee!!!!

Now is the time

After living a hectic life out of boxes for the last two months, Jeremy and I are finally in a place where we are ready to re-focus ourselves and put fitness into full gear. My marathon training begins Memorial Day weekend, so I have until then to rid myself of the daily toxins and push a little harder in my workouts. I have taken quite some time off of running and am ready to get back in the game. Although I have taken time off I have not stopped running, only cut my mileage and frequency down a bit. I add in HotBox about 3-4 times a week as well which makes me feel empowered everytime I walk out those doors. HOTBOX Below are some guidelines I am going to start with: 1.) Eat a lean protein (fish, chicken, lean beef, eggs, yogurt or protein powders) at every meal 2.) Aim for 5 small meals a day (of 300 calories) 3.) Eat as many veggies as you can, and focus on the fibrous ones (e.g., broccoli, Brussels sprouts, and greens) that aid digestion 4.) Drink a lot of water. If you’re dehydrated, your metabolism slows down and you’re more prone to hunger, headaches, and fatigue. 5.) Don’t eat any starches after lunchtime, not even the good starches 6.) Take a fish oil supplement. It will reduce inflammation, aid digestion, and improve skin. New Chapter, Carlson’s, and Nordic Naturals have the highest quality ingredients. Here is to shaping up our life, love and happiness in preparation for our growing family!

Waylon living and loving at home

House into a Home

Jeremy and I have been working tirelessly to turn this house into a home! We have finally gotten to a place where projects have lessened and we can sit back and enjoy more time together. You forget how taxing moving is until you go through it but for some reason the end result is always worth it. It feels great to own our home and know that anything we do inside or out will only benefit us and our future. Moving is a nice little detox to your life! Lots of reminders of what you use and dont use and cleaning of all the unused items. This move made spring cleaning pretty easy this year! These are some photos of the hard work we have done inside!

Adoption Rocks

Just bought our AWESOME Adoption Rocks shirts from http://www.ourmisconception.blogspot.com Can't wait to get into our new home flaunting our new shirts while patiently waiting for our new family to come together! Thank you!

I'm Back

Although it seems as though I have been away for a while, so much has transpired in our lives since my last post. Jeremy and I are in the "Waiting" process for adoption and we have bought a new home here in Nashville! Slowly but surely our story is coming together. I will be posting many posts in regards to our new home and once we are placed with a birth mother, there will be endless posts of our family. Below is a photo with the progress of our new home!